You want your wedding day to be a dream come true. But should it also be a fairy tale? When you write your marriage vows or talk to your Justice of the Peace about what s/he will say at your ceremony, are there stars in your eyes or are you taking an honest look at your future together?
How realistic should your marriage vows be? You know that half of all marriages end in divorce but you don’t expect yours to be one of them. Still, would it make sense to say “I do promise to do my utmost to love you, for as long as we are married. I promise that if a time comes when I do not love you, I will do everything in my power to try to rekindle that love. If I become convinced that I cannot regain my love for you, I will tell you promptly and end our marriage as elegantly as I can.”
That’s what Danielle Teller, a physician turned writer, co-author (with her husband) of “Sacred Cows: The Truth About Divorce and Marriage,” advocates in this qz.com article, Turn your marriage vows into a binding contract. She thinks it is far superior to saying “I will love you forever” when you can’t possibly know that you will.
Today, couples are writing more realistic marriage vows. You can certainly do that without spelling out, before the assembled guests, how you will try to remedy the possible loss of love or, if need be, end the marriage elegantly. You can be honest and real about your relationship without going into unpleasant territory. At your wedding ceremony, before you are pronounced legally married, what will you say to your beloved?
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