Be You – Tradition be gone!

Your wedding ceremony is all about you and your partner. Making sure it reflects your vision is the most important.  It is your wedding, after all. So the rules are — There are no rules! Focus on what makes you happy. And then do it.


Doing it your way may mean forgoing the financial benefit of someone else footing the bill. But, what if that generous contribution also means that you are stressed out and the day is not what you’ve envisioned? Or, even worse, it feels inauthentic. Well, it may be time to rethink the arrangement.

“The Walk” Down the Aisle

So much angst over the entry to the ceremony stage. Although the father-escort tradition has endured, there are no such rules about the processional. Good thing, too, since this custom is rooted in the father owning the bride, and in essence, transferring possession to the new husband. Even the more agreeable modern interpretation of love and support can present a dilemma that can make one want to buck the practice.

Whether you don’t have a father-figure who you’d like to include, there is a biological father versus step-father dilemma, or you just don’t like the idea of being “given away.” No escort is required. Remember, no rules. Some options include entering together as a couple, being escorted by both parents, friends or other loved ones, and going-it on your own. Whatever suits your fancy is perfect – because it works for you!


When affirming your desire to be married to your beloved, there are conventional words that can be said. Or, you can write your own vows. The officiants on have the experience and expertise to elicit your story and help you convey your intentions in a way that is meaningful to you. Share your love story. Incorporate music or poetry. Lots more ideas on writing vows.

The Wedding Party & Guests

Having a wedding party can be fun, and helpful, too. Nonetheless, they are completely optional. Even if you’ve been in all your friends’ wedding parties, you are not obligated to follow their lead.

Invite who matters – to you. When your focus is on quality over quantity, each loving encounter during your day will have meaning and be memorable. Nowadays, there are many ways to involve people in your wedding ceremony when they aren’t actually present. Technology lets others participate through live-streaming. In addition, small weddings are trending. When you keep the guest list tight, it isn’t just easy on the pocketbook. Safety is a factor, too.

Most importantly, be true to yourself. Listen to your heart. Create your wedding ceremony your way.

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Loretta Jay is the Managing Member of the Justice of the Peace Association. This is the membership organization for professional marriage officiants. All officiants’ profiles are searchable at, the place where Couples who Click can find their perfect JP. 

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