Present in Spirit at Your Wedding

Remembering the deceased at your ceremoy

It’s the most important day of your life and all your loved ones are there to support you…almost. If people you love deeply have passed and cannot attend your wedding except in your heart, how can you recognize them in your ceremony? It’s a very personal decision, but you are not alone. Here are a few ways others have done it. Acknowledgment For some, simply naming loved ones in the introduction of the ceremony feels right. Calling attention to the surroundings, such as blue skies, warm sun, the love of family and friends, and then naming those who are here […]

Animal Attendants in Your Ceremony

Doves at your wedding ceremony

The animals in fairy tales steal our hearts: Cinderella’s songbirds, Bambi’s butterflies and the Darling children’s Nana in Peter Pan. But how about incorporating these icons into your own real-life fairy tale? If you want to bring animals like these into your wedding ceremony, you can certainly do it. But to make sure you get the happy ending you dream of, here are a few important things you should know. Doves Releasing a dove is a symbol of hope. During your ceremony, you could release just two doves to symbolize your union and future together, or a flock to represent […]

Wedding Readings that Tell Your Story

Wedding reading and poems

To create a beautiful and powerful wedding ceremony, your wedding officiant will strive to weave together your past, present, and future as a couple. A collection of just the right words, placed in just the right order, tells the story of who you are, touching the hearts of everyone within earshot. Readings play an important role in that narrative. Yes, you may already know you want to incorporate readings to help define this moment, but perhaps you don’t know where to begin. Readings and quotes can come from almost any source, but here are some classic sources to consider. The […]

Quiz Yourself to Find the Right Ceremony Tone

Quiz yourself to determine the right tone for your ceremony

In a conversation with your officiant, you might be asked what you’d like the tone of your ceremony to be. Your JP wants your ceremony to reflect you as a couple — your values, beliefs, passions, and style. How would your ceremony feel overall if it were to express the essence of both of you? If you’re not quite sure how to answer that question, take the following quiz. Add up your answers at the end to find out what tone of ceremony might be right for you. Which of these venues is where you’d most like to be married? […]

A Fresh Take on Old Traditions

Updated traditions in your ceremony

“I like the idea of using the traditions that my mother and grandmother used in their weddings, but I also want to keep my ceremony fresh and a little unexpected.” Each of the elements in your ceremony, readings, rituals, and vows for example, plays an important role in defining your day. Like instruments in a symphony orchestra, when joined together in concert they should swell your heart. The officiant is the conductor. Be sure to have a conversation with him or her about what’s important to you so that it can be included in the score. To get the conversation […]

Don’t Let Language be a Barrier

Bilingual ceremonies

Recently, I officiated the wedding of a bride from New Hampshire and a groom from Paris. He spoke English with a charming French accent. But his family, flying over for the festivities, did not. The couple requested a bilingual ceremony, but I do not speak a word of French. What was I going to do?These days, this isn’t an unusual dilemma. As our world grows smaller and more interconnected, cross-cultural weddings have become much more commonplace. These types of ceremonies serve not only to join the couple in marriage, but also to merge two cultures and languages. You can get […]

Who Should be Your Officiant: A JP or Your Best Friend

Friend officiating wedding ceremony

Your wedding:  imagine that magical moment when you say “I do” and your life changes forever. Who could be better than your best friend to join you in marriage? STOP.  Are you sure about that? In recent years, some states have relaxed the rules for who can officiate a wedding, authorizing almost anyone to be “officiant for a day.”  Fill out a one-page form, bring it to your town hall, give them a check, and voila! For one day, you’re official. From the government’s perspective, it’s an easy way to generate a little revenue. In Vermont, for $100 any adult can now […]

Getting Married Later in Life? Anything Goes!

If you’re a mid-life (or later) bride or groom, “Relax” might be your mantra. That’s how one 55-year old bride (third wedding) was able to cope when she realized she’d left her bridal bouquet at home in the refrigerator. “My first two weddings were about pleasing other people,” she told Match.com. “But I ended up being very pleased this time around …. We both felt it was our ceremony.” Turning the ceremony into our ceremony can really make the difference when you are getting married later in life. Your ceremony can be anything and everything both of you want it to be. Find a JP who will help make that […]

Is a Wedding Rehearsal Necessary?

I’m a Tom Brady fan. Brady, as you may know, is the quarterback for the New England Patriots. He’s considered one of the best —  if not the best — quarterback to ever play professional football. But he didn’t start out that way. He has never looked like the prototypical quarterback. Which is why in high school and college, other quarterbacks were brought in to replace him. But he won. They didn’t. In the NFL draft he was forgotten. He was so skinny. He was slow. I think he still owns the record for the slowest time for quarterbacks in the 40-yard dash […]

Your Wedding: The Beginning Of A Happy Marriage

Across all societies, the wedding ceremony is held as sacred. It links to the other momentous events of our life cycle – like birth and (yes) death – in significance. Most religions see the wedding as a rite by which two persons are joined and their destinies merged. The married couple becomes the new generation of family. So a wedding is both an outcome of one family unit and the beginning of another: a conversion that mirrors Nature. In the Jewish tradition, “the dawning wedding day heralds the happiest and holiest day of one’s life.” Catholics too see the wedding […]

Who Invites Their Ex To Their Own Wedding?

I know I wouldn’t. And neither would my wife. But I read a story about a situation like this. The groom’s ex-girlfriend was invited to the wedding. She of course got drunk – and started screaming at the groom. And then the bride got into a fight with her. Needless to say, this ruined the wedding ceremony. This is why it’s important to have a professional JP perform your wedding. You don’t want an amateur to lead your marriage ceremony. Because you never know what is going to happen. It is an emotional day. All sorts of things may bubble […]

Recognize The Ups And Downs Of Marriage In Your Ceremony

Congratulations! It’s delightful. It’s delicious. It’s marvelous. You’re in love! It’s the stuff of life. Let’s get married.Hate to rain on your parade but you know of course that “in love” is only the beginning, and sometimes the middle and the end – of love. But it isn’t ALL OF LOVE. This is why couples who are getting married might like to inject into their wedding ceremony a note of realism. After all, we all know that “Love is not just champagne and roses!” Ah darn. How to you infuse that sober truth into your wedding, without it being a […]

Ideas for a Ceremony of Gravitas

Keep in mind that your wedding ceremony introduces the world to your love and your love to the world. In your new roles as “Mr and Mrs” or “Mrs and Mrs” or “Mr and Mr” you become a family that might increase and divide and increase again. So why not let the ceremony treat the love that brought you to this point as more than mere romance? When romantic love has grown up and been tested, it becomes bigger, believe it or not. It becomes where you are going – your path and your destination. It’s a road with all […]